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It is never separated from his favorite teddy bear. Historically, he falls asleep, twisting his favorite piece of cloth ... But why did he need so much of this faithful companion? an object familiar and reassuring
is the pediatrician-psychoanalyst Donald Woods Winnicott English who first, in the fifties, gave acclaim to blanket. Called "transitional object", it would have immense power to evoke the absent mother, help the toddler to struggle against the separation anxiety and make the transition from his own body and the outside , the known and the unknown. During the first few months of his life, the baby is one with his mom, it does not exist without it. Around 8 months, sometimes before he realizes she is a person separate from him, she may be absent and it remains alone. It is a difficult period for him. Then he turns an object he loves in blanket. By touch and smell, blanket him about his mom and extends its presence.
Chosen and beloved by all
Your baby will be among the objects around him who would become his most faithful companion. Useless to try to influence his choice, he decides, and named. Nobody knows the reasons why Arthur and Juliette to choose a piece of fabric rather than plush. Why this one and not another? Mystery! Isabelle says she has even tried to push her daughter to choose a teddy bear that came to offer her and she was pretty. Not a chance! Valentine has set his sights on a wide satin ribbon Rose, who survived a gift package and has subsequently all frayed. This is his first possession and is not shared. Much like a personal space that must be respected. His security blanket, it looks: he speaks of his mother but also of him. More
it is dirty, the more he likes
The Chosen is mostly a banal object on which your baby easily projected its various feelings: anxiety, fear, joy, sadness ... Only obligation: his gentleness. The blanket is praised by our little diaper often, this small square of fine cotton and soft as it landed on her pillow. But this is not necessarily a specific purpose. Some children are content, for example, any toy or piece of cloth wet. Plus it is dirty, damaged, without form, feeling bad ... the more he loves. Love it can not be explained!
One owns, the other not
Elizabeth was very surprised that Peter had no blanket and that he was going very well. Unlike Paul, his eldest, who could not break away from "Lili" Peter has never had a preference for anything. Elizabeth even has finally found the "missing" disturbing. And it just so his son did not become the curiosity of the crib! His two boys a year apart and spend their day together. Why one feels he need to have a fetish object and the other not? There is no answer. Perhaps some children with reassuring words and feel safer than others. There are different ways to pass the test of separation? A blanket is also a knowing look that vocalizes (bababa ba ba), or a gesture as if caressing the hair for example.
In Africa, it does not exist!
The blanket is it the result of our western societies? In black Africa and the Maghreb countries, small do not. Huddled permanently near the womb, or hooked to their backs, they are surrounded, soothed, stimulated, massaged ... with a mom always available. Home, the toddler was soon separated from his mother: he sleeps in his room and quickly joined the ranks of the nursery or school. But do not assume that yours is much anxiety he walks around his blanket, or original if they do not!
A precise and unchanging ritual
Before becoming a security blanket, the candidate goes through all sorts of tests. It is chewed, licked, sucked, corkscrew, triturated in all directions ... To give smooth, soft and "fragrance" indispensable. Some caress your face or rub noses with the same sniff. It is all cash, dissolves large and small griefs and anxieties of all the console. By itself, the blanket is a miniature world that can reassure, to dreaming and face the unknown: it helps them grow. Your toddler will use it according to its needs. The link with the blanket changes over time. Some will keep with them at all times while for others it will not be there at bedtime. Some will use it one day and not tomorrow.
A step towards other
It is the relationship between the inner world of your child and the outside. The blanket facilitates socialization and serves défouloir: he throws it to the ground and growls. When he is in a bad mood or upset, he told everything he feels. Witness the story that tells Sabine. It was bedtime and Samuel stubbornly refused to comply. Party sulking in his corner, Sabine saw back a few seconds later to announce triumphantly: "Tidou not want to go to sleep! "A friend
invading
The blanket is sometimes disproportionate attention. Martin still remembers the drama that began one night when Fabio had lost the own. He sobbed desperately. Martine has spent the night trying to comfort him to sleep. Christine has traveled many miles to try to recover the lost Pinpin Alexis ... A blanket yes, but not about being a slave! Sometimes it's an easy solution for parents and staff, it condones. The attitude is to lay a blanket to a child in need of being consoled is not necessarily a good solution. He has certainly more interested in that moment of presence and hugs.
On the benches of the school
When strikes the hour of the tongue, sometimes takes the same blanket path. Of course, it can facilitate the adaptation of your toddler in this new world. But a blanket over this prevents your child from engaging in other activities, it also discourages nor communication, nor the game A child who has trouble separating from his blanket tends to be inward- same. Moreover, we see clearly the small and gradually get rid of as their relationships with others develop. At school, the blanket is conducting a well-regulated life. In small section, children do not separate from the first month. Over the weeks, he remains in a large basket at recess and lunch. And recovered only for a nap. Average and especially in large section, most small to leave the house until they get rid of them completely. For it is the destiny of a blanket is finished in a forgotten corner ...
The 5 essential questions
What if your toddler loses his blanket?
Sympathize: Your child does not make movies. The first days will be difficult. Explain that it is normal to grieve but also does not dramatize! Another cuddly love it as much replace. A good idea: sew a label with your name and phone number.
Should we have a spare?
Your toddler does not fall into the trap certainly: it's cheating! Unless early, you ensure a frequent turnover with two identical comforters and wash at the same pace. It can then walk.
Can it be washed?
Yes, it is essential, but do not do it behind his back. Tell your child that it is time to put the blanket in the washing machine. Ask him also to do it alone.
Should we tolerate it drags everywhere?
No. Whenever possible, make him understand that his security blanket has no place at the table or during the toilet for example. But be fair: do not take hostages to punish your little one, do not dispose quietly, do not fix it without permission!
how to help the larger (around 5-6 years) to part with it?
Establish times when the blanket should stay in the room: the walk or games for example. Proceed smoothly. If your child has forgotten and does not claim it, do not remind him!
Source
http://www.famili.fr/grossesse/404-enfant/4715-
psychologie/3408-touche_pas_a_mon_doudou /
More ...
http://www.materneo.com/post-naissance/
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