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Your child has played with his friends and despair of failing to fix things? Dramatize the situation and help him find a solution to solve alone, this conflict. But if problems recur or hurt, do not hesitate to intervene. Valerie's advice-Marcesche Giaccone, child psychiatrist
Friendship can be learned too ...
Initially, we often choose a friend because we like a little, it is reassuring (this is also true for adults!). A toddler loves her boyfriend to do "like". Growing up, we see that the other is not always exactly what we want it to do. He has his own life, desires, ways of operating. Towards
7-8 years, the child is in full "learning" relationships: he begins to recognize his emotions, the emotions of the other ... and to accept to do with, although it is frustrating. Friendly relations oscillate between harmony and conflict, and this is normal!
traps to avoid
In friendship, there are pitfalls to avoid. The "household" to three, is one (at all stages of life, for that matter). In a group of three friends, there's always one, in turn, who finds himself outside the relationship.
From 8 or 9 years, the threesome flew into pieces easily, especially among girls, while boys are still in the band, girls are beginning to seek strong relations with both. They are constructed by mirroring the other. This is especially true in adolescence. The need for relationships "exclusive" leads regular small conflicts between girls.
And parents in all this?
The disputes in the playground are common and are part social relations. Do not dramatize. The important thing is to be there to collect her child's emotions when he argued with another. The child often expresses anger, but more deeply, he feels as the sadness.
When you take the time to listen, discuss, can help move beyond the emotion, while leaving the handle on. No question of interfering with the boyfriend with whom he quarreled or parents, except in cases of serious or recurrent conflict.
How to help him solve his conflicts with his buddies?
Friendship can be learned too ...
Initially, we often choose a friend because we like a little, it is reassuring (this is also true for adults!). A toddler loves her boyfriend to do "like". Growing up, we see that the other is not always exactly what we want it to do. He has his own life, desires, ways of operating. Towards
7-8 years, the child is in full "learning" relationships: he begins to recognize his emotions, the emotions of the other ... and to accept to do with, although it is frustrating. Friendly relations oscillate between harmony and conflict, and this is normal!
traps to avoid
In friendship, there are pitfalls to avoid. The "household" to three, is one (at all stages of life, for that matter). In a group of three friends, there's always one, in turn, who finds himself outside the relationship.
From 8 or 9 years, the threesome flew into pieces easily, especially among girls, while boys are still in the band, girls are beginning to seek strong relations with both. They are constructed by mirroring the other. This is especially true in adolescence. The need for relationships "exclusive" leads regular small conflicts between girls.
And parents in all this?
The disputes in the playground are common and are part social relations. Do not dramatize. The important thing is to be there to collect her child's emotions when he argued with another. The child often expresses anger, but more deeply, he feels as the sadness.
When you take the time to listen, discuss, can help move beyond the emotion, while leaving the handle on. No question of interfering with the boyfriend with whom he quarreled or parents, except in cases of serious or recurrent conflict.
How to help him solve his conflicts with his buddies?
Reassure and explain how to fix things
All children face at one time or another in an argument with a boyfriend - the dispute with the best friend (or best friend), being more " serious "in the eyes of the child. In any case, it must be reassuring. By insisting, first, not final on the side of things: the link is not broken, it's just a storm, a storm.
Explain then it can act like that if things work out: by offering a game with his buddy, by writing a letter, going to discuss with him ... A child knows not necessarily how to revive a relationship, we adults, suggesting their tracks.
Intervene when suffering
Sometimes a child has problems systematically with the same boyfriend. Parents, in this case, to observe this relationship (in calling the friend at home, talking with the teacher) and try to understand what happens between these two children. Why? Everyone finds there his account? Is there a dominant one dominated?
In all cases, we can explain to a child than a relationship of friendship is not one who has to suffer On the contrary, it is a relationship that can flourish, where you can enjoy the qualities of each. Should there be suffering in a child, we must intervene.
Identify difficulties
Some children find ways to compete with everyone regularly. These are often children who lack social skills: they have trouble recognizing their emotions and those of others, and therefore, adapt, and they lack confidence verbal or physical ability to link with others.
We can try to identify the difficulties of her child and accompany it "progresses" by inviting friends at home, telling her to call or write postcards for the holidays ... If the problems persist, do not hesitate to ask for assistance to a psychologist or psychiatrist.
Sources:
http://www.vosquestionsdeparents.fr/dossier/264/les-disputes-entre-copains/sectionId/2
To go further:
http://www.petitmonde.com/Doc/Article/Les_conflits_entre_
enfants_intervenir_ou_ne_pas_intervenir
http://www.familles-ge.ch/faq.php?no=05&sit=03&faqId=87
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